Something Had To Give …

It’s been a difficult few days since my last post. Work busy and good, but the rest of it completely sucks.
Nothing like a Sunday evening and your wedding cancelled/postponed for making you say enough now.
Am not meaning Alistair of course, am meaning this Rollercoaster ride of 2018. Want it stop and I want to get off!
I turn half a century this summer and we were to be wed on that day and it was one thing which has kept me going.

Obviously am trying to grieve Dad, but just nae getting chance. And we’ve several other difficult things going on too, all making life exceptionally hard. Trying to deal with things and balance things.

A friend commented the other day, that as long as she’s known me, I’ve always been putting other people first etc and that I should look after myself more. It certainly has given me food for thought.

Talking of Father, it has made me question life after death, signs, spirit, etc etc Wanting to believe there is something, but unsure. Yesterday morning, was sweeping the yard, questioning something else, thinking of Dad, when all of a sudden, a Woodpecker Feather appeared in front of me. The most perfect feather. What are the chances!!? I thanked Dad and put it on the photo frame of us. Now as I type, am wondering with how yesterday ended up if he was just letting me know he was around?

Tuesday, my Wedding Dress arrived.
This brought on a few tears and thank the Lord we have the most amazing Postman!

Wednesday as a day just wasn’t great, well, let me rephrase that, it didn’t end up great.

I had advertised for help with housework and getting the house in order, amazed with the number of people wanting to help. I met Linda and she decided she would pick up the gauntlet, reassuring me, that the hoose wasn’t that bad and she had seen worse and she would begin the following day.

The Farrier arrived early doors to see to McKenzie.

Then, a busy gallery morning eased up after lunch but a pleasant surprise to see a couple of friends appear.

They had come for my help, involving a photo shoot for the following morning. It was something I would have normally loved, but just didn’t see how I could fit in. I would think up on it.

Pet Lamb was sheared this afternoon. Now got a totally different looking sheep and Barclay has been going ballistic ever since! Am sure he thinks another resident has moved into the Tulloch fold.

As the day wore on, I could feel myself getting down. And the fact I was unable to help the friend out tomorrow really began to play on my mind. Their help was invaluable when I lost Father and this was one person I would and should have gladly helped.
WHY.. was everything happening at once!

By evening, my mood hit an all time low.

I think absolutely everything from so far this year just hit me and the tears began.
I was mentally exhausted and openly admitted I could not cope with everything.

Something had to give!

Thursday morning, up for the 2nd time, making coffee and look out to see young Wagtails hopping around the yard, wonderful.

Following Dawns Phone call last night, I did heed her advice and didn’t open the Gallery today. I would instead begin wading through outstanding jobs I never get round to.
And … I finally made the decision to contact Airbnb!
I explained what was going on in our lives and from the 24th July, I will no longer be taking bookings or hosting guests.
Alannah from Airbnb was incredible. And I want again, to give her my thanks.
She was very understanding and efficient. She took over everything for me and for the the first time, I actually understood what the term ‘Weight off my Shoulders’ meant and felt like.

Of course, I am so very sorry that some guests beyond July have had to be cancelled and how disappointing and annoying that will be. Some things are just beyond my control, am not Wonder Woman and Airbnb was something which has to give.

Is it permanent? Who knows.

Perhaps wasn’t meant to do photo shoot for friend, as me back went mid morning! Ow!

This weekend sees my begin the count down of hosting guests.

And tomorrow evening will begin to see in a new week and some precious time spent with my best friend.

Onwards, Upwards, One Step and One Day at a Time

Karen x

Woodpecker Feather

May the 4th be with you …

3rd May – What a beautiful start to the day, blue skies, sun, birds singing and heard my first Cuckoo of the season.

By 7am, grey skies and cold! And it stayed like that for much of the day.

Friday 4th May – Change Over, Ironing, Bread Made, Grocery Shop and The Wee Scottish Gallery Facebook Page all done by 9am! And what another beautiful start to the day.

10am – yep – grey cloud!

Another nonstop day, but more about that in next entry.

In the meantime, please go Like the new Facebook Page … Wee Scottish Gallery

8.30pm and time for tea and then the gravity blanket will soon be calling Zzzzzx

Spring Lambs …

What a manic couple of weeks! And way behind with my journal. It has been nonstop busy! But … the joyous news is … that I have been sleeping! The Gravity Blanket seems to be doing its stuff. I have still woken during the nights, but managed to pretty much fall right back to sleep again. I am nae very good at explaining things, but the gravity blanket is the most amazing feeling. I have my fathers legs , now those of you who know , will know that this is not necessarily a good thing, yet this weighted blanket makes them feel so light and I’ve had no aches during the night from them.

18th April – Saw my first Lambs of the Spring.

Lost me phone in the evening. I’d left it in the Fridge! I know, well, don’t know, so please don’t ask.

Haven’t had a Brambling in the garden this winter, but this morning (Sunday), heard a noise and there was one in the Cherry Tree above the feeders.

Woke in discomfort, this was due to the Poodle & the nest he had made out of me Gravity Blanket. Told him I would look at getting a kennel for him today!!!

Trying to integrate Barclay and others, McQuack nae impressed and puffs himself out at Barclay! Also, think Barclay fancies the Tame Sheep!

Tuesday 24th April 7.30pm – The first Swallow has arrived, but a summer it doesn’t make!

Wednesday 25th The Tame Sheep has it in for McQuack and chased him down the glen!

Thursday 26th April – 4.31am, woke to Bruce cock a doodle doing! Wtf!

6.30am Bruce’s song was replaced by that of a Song Thrush, beautiful

Saturday 28th April – Beautiful but frosty and a covering of fresh snow on the hills.

Alistair in earlier tonight, so we headed off to the pub for tea.

Sunday 29th April – Cool start but beautiful & it soon warmed up.

Visitor sat out with Coffee enjoying the sunshine, when McDuck appeared off her nest and without warning, pretty much beat the hell out of Bruce the Cockerel! She soon had him literally pinned to the grass and was showing no mercy! I had to intervene with a stick, then Bruce turned on me! The visitor just sat drinking his coffee taking it all in!

1st May – Seriously, where is this year going to?!! May Gosling, but still no sign of Ducklings yet, surely can’t be long now? Though Muscovy do take 35 days.

2nd May – Another manic day and just as manic tomorrow. All will be revealed (Hopefully) at the weekend. It was a downpour last night and the river was in full flow this morning.

Looking out onto more new born lambs as I type this.

All in in all, it’s been a stressful couple of of weeks and the Tulloch menagerie are still running amok.

McDucks Downy Nest

Alistair & McQuack

Gravity …

Continuing on Saturday 14th, was just thinking about Bedfordshire, when we notice the outside light come on, there was a pussy cat visiting Tulloch. All I saw was it’s wee white paws. Barclay was beside himself!

Sunday 15th – And 2.10am wide awake, oh and cramp thrown in for good measure. WHAT? Was Loch building yesterday, does that not warrant a wee bit of extra sleep at least??! AND I had taken two sleep Gummies!

Struggled on throughout the day, but come 3pm I could do no more. Tonight I would move back into the marital bed after having a few nights in spare room. Don’t think it really matters where I sleep, I still struggle.

Monday 16th – Awoke at 4, but nae up til 5, this was good. Had woke earlier with a hand across my face, but Alistair said this was due to the fact he has been able to spread out the last couple of nights! Mixed weather, but milder at least. Great progress with the Gallery extension. I mounted prints for best part of the morning, then it was website work and hopefully getting SEO sorted.

Noticed McQuack spent most of the day swimming on Loch McBasil, which saying that Muscovy Ducks are different to other Ducks and usually don’t do ponds etc, am impressed. McDuck was late off the nest this evening for her break. She is doing ever so well, I’m counting down the days til Duckageddon, so she surely must be.

Woodpeckers, Wagtails & Siskins all very active.

Tuesday 17th – And up at silly o clock, laid in sunroom for a while listening to the rain on the roof, 5.30am, could feel sleep coming on, so away back to bed I went, Alistair would get up and Barclay would join me. And 15min later, ”twas no good, up again!

Still a downpour and we got wet in said downpour.

Exciting progress with the gallery extension today, an entrance has been cut through. Gives us a much better idea of the finished project. Whilst Jim, Dawid & I were stood admiring their work, main door crashed open and tame sheep ran amok through gallery!!

Delivery this afternoon and … did you heed my words and take shares out in insomnia industry?? I hope so, as the Gravity Blanket has arrived! So heavy, that Alistair had to carry it upstairs for me, but I have every faith in this product and it will be worth every penny if I get some decent sleep. *Watch This Space*

Overcast …

Woke during night, but actually managed to stay in bed til 7am! And then it was Barclay who made sure I got up.

Nice morning again, but more cloud appeared. Got bread made for guests and even set on giving espresso machine a good clean.

11am Deer appeared in field for brunch.

McDuck came out of the coop, so took the opportune moment to head on in, only to find Agnes in a nest box! Thought McDuck was eating, but saw her away doon the glen with McQuack! Hope she isn’t getting tired of motherhood already?

Perthshire Open Studios application came through, so got registered for it.

I do not think we have the brightest animals in the box! Would give fresh grit and treat sticks to the poultry and cleaned out their sandpit and got fresh sand in and all they did was stand at outside of fence looking through, wondering how to get to it all! Gate wide open and these treats are near said gate! However, tame sheep figured it out and grit went everywhere!

You know you are tired, when trying to eat your Rice Krispies and you’re using a fork instead of a spoon! Whilst eating said Krispies, took a read of latest ‘Your Chickens’ magazine, especially article on Cockerels & aggression. Think I’ll put it in the coop for Bruce to browse over.

German guests arrived.

Tuesday 10th April – Hadn’t gotten up during the night, but tossed n turned a fair bit. Cooler morn and overcast. Up at 6 and pretty much on with jobs, then into Gallery to mount prints.

And looking out to Loch McBasil, there I saw for the first time McQuack swimming on it.

By time midday came, my M.E was playing up and I was exhausted, so time for some time out and snoozed.

McQuack totally disappeared this afternoon, but I saw him returning back up from the river around 5pm. I wonder if he’s messing around on the river with wild ducks whilst McDuck is on the nest?

DSCN0317 DSCN0318

Duracell Poodle…

Woke and was nae in the best of moods! Was not helped by the Poodle, who in the following hour was in a destructive mood and destroyed a box of batteries, which I may add, Alistair had left lying around. Had a busy day ahead and morning coffee wasn’t doing its thing either! Was wondering how long it takes for ‘Inner Peace’ (See yesterday’s post) to kick in.

Made a start with ironing, only to see a flash of brown race past. The Poodle had now got my bra!

For Barclays next trick, he got a garden cane. It wasn’t even 8am yet and was proving to be a very long day already

even though it had been a beautiful daybreak, it was now snowing again.

Ryan with trailer arrived and it was time to start clearing sheds (More on this soon).

Grocery shop arrived pm, Including the Cherry Juice, Which after googling bedtime drinks, it was highly recommended. 10pm, I climbed the wooden hill, cherry juice in hand looking forward to my new improved sleep.

12.30am I was up! Obviously hadn’t drank enough Cherry juice, though my bladder said otherwise!

Busy day, gallery hive of activity this morning and in the afternoon Frame order arrived. Now can not move in the sunroom because of boxes and that is my weekend sorted.

Haven’t seen McDuck all day.

Friday pm, stepped out before bedtime and had a right Frog Chorus going on, then sensed movement, Barclay was agitated, called Alistair and got the torch, there near the door was one member of said chorus.

Got me Cherry Juice and headed to Bedfordshire.

3.30am! Wide awake! Tried to roll back over to sleep, but mind had already gone into overdrive and bladder wasn’t going to be outdone either, so up I get. Barclay followed too, which is actually quite comforting and I didn’t have to tiptoe around as much, as no guests in tonight.

Nothing like deciding to do some early morning baking to make you return to bed, so 4.30am that’s what I did

So today (Saturday 7th April) was overcast, but milder, no hat required. Gallery open, steady trickle of folk throughout the day. Made a start cleaning/hosing yard, 2hours it must have took and the stretchy expandable hosepipe has mind of its own, 3 times it got out of control, yes, I got soaked!

McDuck left her nest for 1/2hr break, so I got the chance to see to coop. Her nest is even more downy, am so impressed with her and was thinking, I could sleep in all that down.

Got Alan telephoned today and it was so good to catch up and meant to be I reckon. Have been having a think on work over these last couple of weeks and have sort of felt Dad has been nudging me in a certain direction, proved even more so with call to Alan, just what was needed and head bit clearer.

Ach, made mess up with grocery order, get recipe out for tonight’s stir fry and I ordered the wrong bloomin nuts! So 30min of my time was stood shelling n skinning Monkey Nuts, as I’ve nothing else to do what so ever!!!

French guests tonight seem lovely .

Why Did The Chickens Cross The Road …

Joyous news… McDuck was not egg bound and egg no4 is now in the nestbox, so the ole honey trick must have helped? Though, did hear some duck squeals early doors.

Nae so joyous, 2.15am and boing, wide awake!

27th – Duck egg no 5 is in the nesting box. Rain most of day.

28th – And Barclays latest trick is barking and chasing the Collared Doves out of the garden. I don’t ask why!

got a hen egg this morning.

Finally got print order finished and that’ll be 200+ to mount & more to frame when they arrive!

Then it was time to start tackling the Gallery! Big clean down, rearranging, new stock in etc. I WILL be ready for this Easter Weekend!!

Peter called by, good to see him as always and good to talk.

Totally forgot to have my scone on Sunday, so fed it to the Chucks today.

Tame Sheep accidentally ran into back of me today, sore ankle as I type

29th March – early doors was -8c. Got into gallery to continue restyle, so did Barclay, who pinched a felt Haggis and ran amok with it. Wee felt Haggis is no more!

30th March – Good Friday and nae up til 5am. Dad, you’ve been gone 2 months now, how!

How very apt that McDuck begins to sit her 8 eggs today. I am beyond excited

Easter on mine own, so writing it off and working.

Birds of the week have been Wagtails & Woodpeckers, more than last year. The Thrushes have ceased with their territorial calls.

Snow has returned on lower ground.

Took Barclay and I off for a walk in the forest. Wildlife conspicuous by its absence.

Returned home to see the pets running amok! Chickens were out in car park, by time I wrestle Barclay past tame sheep into hoose, chickens were heading up the glen! I had to stop traffic to drive the reluctant little sods back in! Still had walking boots on and am thinking Bruce doesn’t like Red, as he launched full scale attack on them and me!

Late afternoon, snowing again, was having 5 on sofa, all nice and quiet and suddenly Alexa says ‘Sorry I didn’t get that’.

View of the hills

View of Tulloch

View of Boots

View of Muddy Paws!!

Over Two Weeks …

It has been blowing a hooly these last 24hrs.

So now over two weeks have passed since Father’s Funeral.
I thought the hardest part was now behind.
I had thought wrong, so wrong.
As someone told me a few ago, getting up and dressed and putting one foot in front of the other was a good day.
How right they were!

Sleep still evades me, I am absolutely exhausted.

I reckon as Funerals go, Father got a right good send off.
I paid my respects to him the night before, could have spent so much longer with him, just talking away.
I rode in the Hearse with the other Pall Bearers, as I was to help carry Father, after all, he has carried me all my life, as we were piped in by Alan, it literally took every ounce of strength I had for me to do so.
It was a long day, yet I did find comfort in that day.
Just so sorry I did not get to chat to everyone.
And so sad, that I doubt very much that I will see some of these folk again.
Such is life I suppose.

Snowmageddon, stuck in Yorkshire, there would be no travelling back top narth.
But, a positive was getting to watch the Fieldfares.

Thursday 1st March went into dads den with his whippet, closed the door to the world, reclined his chair and wept.
Still snowbound.

Finally made it back to Scotland.
Saw Curlews on the way up ear the borders, but they’ve yet to arrive here at Tulloch.
7th March, about 30 Starlings in the garden

The Tulloch animals were been real delinquents today, mid afternoon you’d have seen me stood in yard giving them a right dressing down!

Making a sandwich, the Poodle has his nose as close as he could get, told him to ‘b****r off’, Alexa suddenly bursts into life and says “I’m sorry I’m not sure I can help you with that”

Monday 12th March, 4am and am wondering if I will ever get a proper nights sleep again.

Wee herd of Fallow appear round the garden late afternoons now.
Amazingly, Barclay has yet to see them!

Have had some wonderful guests staying, am blessed for them.

Also, (This is such a long shot here), but to the family from Zambia who called in The Wee Scottish Gallery yesterday, how wonderful to meet you, thank you for calling, your visit will stay with me.

(Click to play) My Anthem for life at present is … A 1000 Times
“If I had your number, I’d call you tomorrow”

SO MUCH MORE I could/should write.

editIMG_2348 Scan-2018-3-14-18.22.59 Scan-2018-3-14-18.23.42 Scan-2018-3-14-18.24.17 DSCN0267 Pheasants

Long May the Snow continue…

Beautiful day!
Mainly work and chores.
But stole some moments in the snow, long may it continue.
Poor Sleep still irks, poor dreams when I do!

Walking Alone …

Sunday Morning: Had a terrible nights sleep, got up, laid breakfast out for guests etc. Stood with Morning coffee listening to the birds, few seemed to be at the feeders. -2c, felt like -5c, the air fair pinched. Felt like I was going to cry, but chest aching and tight, just couldn’t.’

Ach, needed to clear head, so took an early walk down to Glen Brerachan.
Was probably a first, but I did not take Barclay or the McNikon!! But did take the Coolpix and Olympus for an outing. The odd car passed, think they must have been heading to the slopes, other than that, twas just me and nature, could breathe, bliss!
On my return home, the tame sheep spotted me walking boots and made a beeline for the laces! (Note to self: Order more Parsnips)!

I would take myself to bed in the afternoon, still no sleep came.
Barclay took his bone upstairs onto the landing, so come actual bedtime, he was stood been all protective of it and giving me a wee growl! And am sure he was trying to push me back down again. Had to bribe him with a Denta chew!

Monday: Wow, a beautiful start to the day, even though it was -6c. Clear to begin with, the most lovely dawn chorus and the most gentlest of snow flakes fell for a minute. Sun begin to rise and clouds began to appear.
Lots of chores this morning and busy.
A few hours later, I notice the Ducks were awol again!
Unbelievable!! The Ducks have discovered Loch McBasil, has only taken them 4 months!

Midday and fresh snow began to fall, lasted all of 5min, then it was a milder afternoon.
So much for the blowing snow which was forecast.

The strangest thing, found my Olympus lens cap in the log shed tonight! How on earth! Nae idea, there are something’s I just don’t question.

Had hair cut, so hopefully that will cure the hat hair for a wee while!

Saw good Quentin Tarantino thing today, where Kill Bill was referenced in Pulp Fiction.
Brilliant! Will have to tell Dad. Went to phone him, stopped and realised.