Adapting …

Forgive me Father, as it has been 3 months since my last confession.
And again, I do not know where this year is going!
So much has been going on, but as the year matures and comes into its last quarter, I sincerely hope that the sadness & woe that we have known up to now does too.

We had an array of visitors in July, best friend Dawn came to stay with us, as did our Facebook Giveaway winners Jill & Tim and on Sunday 19th we waved Hans & Tinka off. They had been staying with us for a week and we could not have wished for more beautiful and perfect guests. Every minute spent with them was a blessing and they entered our lives at the perfect time, to show us that goodness can exist in abundance. The world certainly is a more beautiful place with people like Hans & Tinka in it and we wish nothing but the very best for them.
Come August, we would also wave goodbye to our Airbnb era too, which has been an amazing experience and how apt, that our last guests were return ones, Paula & Ed, who we are luckily enough to class as friends now and I hope we get to visit them in Jerusalem someday soon.
There had been more than one reason for finishing Airbnb and one of those reasons was, to make the room available for a new house guest!
I would like you to give a right warm Scottish welcome to my Mother, who has made the huge move to Scotland and for now lives with us here at Tulloch.
This of course, means the end of an era at Settrington Estate, which was my childhood home, the place my Father Keepered at for over 50 years and the place that I too would also become a Gamekeeper and follow in Fathers footsteps. Sadly all gone now and I do reckon that Father would be very saddened by it all to say the least. (How I miss you Father).
We had another very sad goodbye also, Alistair’s Father has also passed away.
We really could not make this year up!
Alistair has done amazingly well, I am concerned about him, but am also so proud of him, his work load is immense and he just keeps on going, he has to of course, I will be pleased for him when things begin to ease up.
And then there was me hitting half a century.
I think that is more than enough for these last 3 months.
Lots more too of course and could obviously say much more, but thought best to try and keep a long story short.
We are all trying to adapt to these big life changes.
– Karen – x

Something Had To Give …

It’s been a difficult few days since my last post. Work busy and good, but the rest of it completely sucks.
Nothing like a Sunday evening and your wedding cancelled/postponed for making you say enough now.
Am not meaning Alistair of course, am meaning this Rollercoaster ride of 2018. Want it stop and I want to get off!
I turn half a century this summer and we were to be wed on that day and it was one thing which has kept me going.

Obviously am trying to grieve Dad, but just nae getting chance. And we’ve several other difficult things going on too, all making life exceptionally hard. Trying to deal with things and balance things.

A friend commented the other day, that as long as she’s known me, I’ve always been putting other people first etc and that I should look after myself more. It certainly has given me food for thought.

Talking of Father, it has made me question life after death, signs, spirit, etc etc Wanting to believe there is something, but unsure. Yesterday morning, was sweeping the yard, questioning something else, thinking of Dad, when all of a sudden, a Woodpecker Feather appeared in front of me. The most perfect feather. What are the chances!!? I thanked Dad and put it on the photo frame of us. Now as I type, am wondering with how yesterday ended up if he was just letting me know he was around?

Tuesday, my Wedding Dress arrived.
This brought on a few tears and thank the Lord we have the most amazing Postman!

Wednesday as a day just wasn’t great, well, let me rephrase that, it didn’t end up great.

I had advertised for help with housework and getting the house in order, amazed with the number of people wanting to help. I met Linda and she decided she would pick up the gauntlet, reassuring me, that the hoose wasn’t that bad and she had seen worse and she would begin the following day.

The Farrier arrived early doors to see to McKenzie.

Then, a busy gallery morning eased up after lunch but a pleasant surprise to see a couple of friends appear.

They had come for my help, involving a photo shoot for the following morning. It was something I would have normally loved, but just didn’t see how I could fit in. I would think up on it.

Pet Lamb was sheared this afternoon. Now got a totally different looking sheep and Barclay has been going ballistic ever since! Am sure he thinks another resident has moved into the Tulloch fold.

As the day wore on, I could feel myself getting down. And the fact I was unable to help the friend out tomorrow really began to play on my mind. Their help was invaluable when I lost Father and this was one person I would and should have gladly helped.
WHY.. was everything happening at once!

By evening, my mood hit an all time low.

I think absolutely everything from so far this year just hit me and the tears began.
I was mentally exhausted and openly admitted I could not cope with everything.

Something had to give!

Thursday morning, up for the 2nd time, making coffee and look out to see young Wagtails hopping around the yard, wonderful.

Following Dawns Phone call last night, I did heed her advice and didn’t open the Gallery today. I would instead begin wading through outstanding jobs I never get round to.
And … I finally made the decision to contact Airbnb!
I explained what was going on in our lives and from the 24th July, I will no longer be taking bookings or hosting guests.
Alannah from Airbnb was incredible. And I want again, to give her my thanks.
She was very understanding and efficient. She took over everything for me and for the the first time, I actually understood what the term ‘Weight off my Shoulders’ meant and felt like.

Of course, I am so very sorry that some guests beyond July have had to be cancelled and how disappointing and annoying that will be. Some things are just beyond my control, am not Wonder Woman and Airbnb was something which has to give.

Is it permanent? Who knows.

Perhaps wasn’t meant to do photo shoot for friend, as me back went mid morning! Ow!

This weekend sees my begin the count down of hosting guests.

And tomorrow evening will begin to see in a new week and some precious time spent with my best friend.

Onwards, Upwards, One Step and One Day at a Time

Karen x

Woodpecker Feather

Half a year gone ….

And you are gone.

Over half way through June.
The year is going by far too quickly.

We have two lots of House Martins nesting, on a night in bed you can hear them chattering, tis lovely.
Swallows diving in and out of the stable, but nae as many as last season.

It has been hot, can you believe way too hot, then Thursday Storm Hector paid us a wee visit and yesterday was torrential downpour, the yard was about flooded!

And we now have a Pony living at Tulloch! Two mugs broken and a Garden Parasol demolished this last week! And as I’m sat typing this, Alistair reckons he’s messed up the Sky dish too!
He is a proper Thelwell character!
Am hoping that all the animals will get on together (Eventually)

I can’t say I’ve had time to enjoy this Spring. Work is nonstop and that is why I have now blocked off Airbnb and am taking no more bookings. Still too soon to say if I am finishing it forever, but certainly come August I am done for now.
Exhausted and really struggling to cope, never mind not getting any Photography done and I need to be and WANT to be.
And The Wee Scottish Gallery is coming into its own, yet lots more to do there too.
Just work, work, work, hence behind on this journal too, it HAS to change.
On a positive note, oh boy, the sleep, the Gravity Blanket is awesome!

And talking of Photography, am (Can you believe), looking at trying something other than Nikon!
I think I have decided to trade in one of the McNikons!!
More on that if/when etc

Mum came up for flying visit this weekend, waved her off again this morning, far too short.
But, your ashes are now with me Father and I do so hope that you can hear me talking to you.

I want to wish you Happy Fathers Day Dad and to tell you that I miss you every day, as does Mum.

There is a huge void in our life’s, which try as we might, it will never be filled.

Life is changing again but more on that on a future post.
Just want to talk to you again
Karen x

Basil Fawlty …

Saturday 5th May and another beautiful day break, alas, short lived.

Good Gallery day and the new Galley in the Gallery was launched.

Come 3pm, it was between now and 6pm that tonight’s guests were due to check in. Just before 6pm, Phone rang, due guests …. “Would 7 or later be okay, we’d like to do more sightseeing”! I am ashamed to say that I turned into Basil Fawlty within a split second! And the French girl soon felt my wrath down the phone! We were meant to be going out tonight to the Kirky Bar for Gary’s official opening night. When they arrived, they also wanted to use the kitchen and wanted to checkout before 7am. Basil Fawlty part two came on!

I have been contemplating finishing Airbnb, well, am certainly cutting down bookings and on a whole, we have been blessed with guests, but ones like these really do make me question it and as I said in my review of them, a hotel would have been a better option for them. By the girls own admission, she just hadn’t read the house manual or my welcome message.

Sunday 6th May – What a cold dull one! Then after mid afternoon, the skies cleared and the sun burst. It almost became too warm! Time for a glass of Prosecco (Or two) and to soak up some free vitamin D. Stunning sunset, even our Russian guests took a walk down the glen to view it.

Monday 5th May – Woke at 12.30am, paddled round the house, eventually returning to bed, only then to be rudely woken by the Poodle!

Disappointed to see the sunshine had gone, was colder again and then there was a downpour! Typical Bank Holiday and reckoned it would be a quiet gallery day. Come lunch, out came the sun and what a beautiful afternoon and I was (Pleased to say), wrong about a quiet gallery day, help was needed! Also pleased to say, that the Tulloch menagerie behaved themselves with visitors today.

No idea what’s up with 4G, lack of it is driving me mad!

First Wasp of the season today.

The Galley

The Galley in the Gallery

Chickens Enjoying the Sunshine

Tulloch Sunset

The Grand National…

Thursday 12th April – 3.30am and up like a shot! Perhaps should have had a Gummie?

Framing this morning and got done by midday.

Beautiful day (When out of the breeze).

Saw a Peacock Butterfly sunning itself in the meadow.

Daffodil leaves poking through.

Work continuing well with Gallery extension

Friday 13th April – 6am, nae even finished me first coffee and Barclay was digging the biggest hole in the garden!

7.30am and I waved goodbye to our charming guest Angela, wishing her well with her next chapter in life. And … that is now me having a week off from Airbnb! This will be the first in over a year. Love it, but I am just exhausted at present.

It turned out to be a grim cold day, an abundance of Finches in the garden.
Jim & David made great progress on the Gallery extension and got tables, chairs etc ordered for it today.

Saturday 14th April – 3.01am and that was me up!
Saw the breaking news of us bombing Syria.
Today was nae a day I was looking forward to, yet, has always been a great one in previous years, The Grand National.
For as long as I can remember, Dad would put my bets on for me and we always had great chat in the morning about it.
Today would have been no different and then we would have been discussing the latest news on Syria, we enjoyed talking politics too.
Mother telephoned am, did I want a bet on the National, I said no, everything had changed, it did not feel right.
Though as the day wore on, I began to have second thoughts, Father would indeed want me to, so I made my selection and got my bets on with William Hill.
Alistair home early and a spur of the moment decision was made to continue work on Loch McBasil, am exhausted as I type, but thoroughly enjoyed it.
4.55pm, dropped tools and headed on indoors to watch the National.
Champions theme was playing, (That was what Mum & I walked into Church to at Father’s Thanksgiving Service).
Jockeys steadying their rides and they were off, by time they had finished their first time round, I was already out of my seat, heart in mouth and talking to Dad, Pleasant Company was in the lead and was looking comfy.
What a finish, a photo finish and congratulations to Tiger Roll & Davy Russell on your win and to Gordon Elliott and his yard, not forgetting owner Michael O’Leary.
But, not only I had I got 2nd place, I also had 3rd with Bless the Wings.
Just a shame that William Hill app & site is down and no one can collect their winnings!
Back out to Loch McBasil to tidy up, then will finally collapse on the ole sofa as soon as Ive published this.

Father & I with his horse Claudia Miss

First Place

What a difference some sunshine makes

Gallery Visitors!

Loch McBasil

Progress slowly been made

Overcast …

Woke during night, but actually managed to stay in bed til 7am! And then it was Barclay who made sure I got up.

Nice morning again, but more cloud appeared. Got bread made for guests and even set on giving espresso machine a good clean.

11am Deer appeared in field for brunch.

McDuck came out of the coop, so took the opportune moment to head on in, only to find Agnes in a nest box! Thought McDuck was eating, but saw her away doon the glen with McQuack! Hope she isn’t getting tired of motherhood already?

Perthshire Open Studios application came through, so got registered for it.

I do not think we have the brightest animals in the box! Would give fresh grit and treat sticks to the poultry and cleaned out their sandpit and got fresh sand in and all they did was stand at outside of fence looking through, wondering how to get to it all! Gate wide open and these treats are near said gate! However, tame sheep figured it out and grit went everywhere!

You know you are tired, when trying to eat your Rice Krispies and you’re using a fork instead of a spoon! Whilst eating said Krispies, took a read of latest ‘Your Chickens’ magazine, especially article on Cockerels & aggression. Think I’ll put it in the coop for Bruce to browse over.

German guests arrived.

Tuesday 10th April – Hadn’t gotten up during the night, but tossed n turned a fair bit. Cooler morn and overcast. Up at 6 and pretty much on with jobs, then into Gallery to mount prints.

And looking out to Loch McBasil, there I saw for the first time McQuack swimming on it.

By time midday came, my M.E was playing up and I was exhausted, so time for some time out and snoozed.

McQuack totally disappeared this afternoon, but I saw him returning back up from the river around 5pm. I wonder if he’s messing around on the river with wild ducks whilst McDuck is on the nest?

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Duracell Poodle…

Woke and was nae in the best of moods! Was not helped by the Poodle, who in the following hour was in a destructive mood and destroyed a box of batteries, which I may add, Alistair had left lying around. Had a busy day ahead and morning coffee wasn’t doing its thing either! Was wondering how long it takes for ‘Inner Peace’ (See yesterday’s post) to kick in.

Made a start with ironing, only to see a flash of brown race past. The Poodle had now got my bra!

For Barclays next trick, he got a garden cane. It wasn’t even 8am yet and was proving to be a very long day already

even though it had been a beautiful daybreak, it was now snowing again.

Ryan with trailer arrived and it was time to start clearing sheds (More on this soon).

Grocery shop arrived pm, Including the Cherry Juice, Which after googling bedtime drinks, it was highly recommended. 10pm, I climbed the wooden hill, cherry juice in hand looking forward to my new improved sleep.

12.30am I was up! Obviously hadn’t drank enough Cherry juice, though my bladder said otherwise!

Busy day, gallery hive of activity this morning and in the afternoon Frame order arrived. Now can not move in the sunroom because of boxes and that is my weekend sorted.

Haven’t seen McDuck all day.

Friday pm, stepped out before bedtime and had a right Frog Chorus going on, then sensed movement, Barclay was agitated, called Alistair and got the torch, there near the door was one member of said chorus.

Got me Cherry Juice and headed to Bedfordshire.

3.30am! Wide awake! Tried to roll back over to sleep, but mind had already gone into overdrive and bladder wasn’t going to be outdone either, so up I get. Barclay followed too, which is actually quite comforting and I didn’t have to tiptoe around as much, as no guests in tonight.

Nothing like deciding to do some early morning baking to make you return to bed, so 4.30am that’s what I did

So today (Saturday 7th April) was overcast, but milder, no hat required. Gallery open, steady trickle of folk throughout the day. Made a start cleaning/hosing yard, 2hours it must have took and the stretchy expandable hosepipe has mind of its own, 3 times it got out of control, yes, I got soaked!

McDuck left her nest for 1/2hr break, so I got the chance to see to coop. Her nest is even more downy, am so impressed with her and was thinking, I could sleep in all that down.

Got Alan telephoned today and it was so good to catch up and meant to be I reckon. Have been having a think on work over these last couple of weeks and have sort of felt Dad has been nudging me in a certain direction, proved even more so with call to Alan, just what was needed and head bit clearer.

Ach, made mess up with grocery order, get recipe out for tonight’s stir fry and I ordered the wrong bloomin nuts! So 30min of my time was stood shelling n skinning Monkey Nuts, as I’ve nothing else to do what so ever!!!

French guests tonight seem lovely .

Frogs in the Snow …

Up 5.30ish and morning coffee was greeted with fresh snowfall and… I cocked my head to listen again, yes there it was, a Frog calling from the garden pond. Had seen spawn on the pond in the forest yesterday. Last couple of sleepless months must be catching up with me, as took myself back off to bed for an hour.
Back up and was soon faced with the tame sheep stuck in the poultry coop.

Early yesterday evening, McDuck left the coop for a stretch and feed, so that was the opportunity to get it cleaned out etc (I will not have disturbed) and awww, you should see her wee downy nest, am very optimistic and reckon she will be a good mother (Can’t believe thought she was a he and gay), anyhoo, tried discussing things with Alistair, that we need to be organised, nursery, feed etc and he said dinnae be counting the Ducks before they’ve hatched, as he doesn’t think there will be any! As said, I am optimistic!

Aromatherapy oils and bracelet arrived today. I began with wearing ‘inner peace’.

Inner Peace was short lived when I saw the Chucks had decided to wander out up the glen again!! Will be putting wire on the gates ASAP!!!

Spanish in the hoose tonight, apparently St Andrew’s was very cold today.
New stock for gallery due any minute, then tea, am famished!

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McDuck in a Bucket …

16th March – Day began with the so called Beast from the East pt2, basically, blowing snow.
Alistair would put the Poultry away to bed, much shouting and swearing, Bruce had attacked him. Yep, welcome to my world!

17th March – A grand Stag was walking round the garden tonight, just got the camera out and then… yep, the Poodle barked!!

18th March – A day of chores and spring cleaning.
Also, I tried Green Tea today, I won’t be rushing to try it again.

Monday 19th March – -6c start.
Guests were away by 7am and it hadn’t even got to 8am and already the Poodle had had a Parsnip and a tub of moisturiser & Alistair,s Beanie!
It turned out to be the most beautiful morning, sunshine, blue skies, crispy snow. I heard a familiar sound, looked up to see approx 20 Curlew flying right over the house, pure magic.
And … McDuck & McQuack may not be gay after all, seems I found a Duck Egg in the coop this morning. Either that, or they’re crossing with the hens! I will be absolutely cockahoop if we get Ducklings. I texted Alistair with the joyous news. He did not reply, as he did not think it was so joyous.
Talking of the hens, we’ve had 2 eggs this last week. Spring is surely coming.
Resident Deer, Mistle Thrush & Wagtail all active this morning. Siskins have disappeared again.

20th March – Another -6c start, but sunny. Greeted with the fly over of Lapwing
Two unexpected things happened today, from two unexpected sources. One was a hug, the second was a delivery of flowers. Both lovely to receive and very much appreciated.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dawn xx

Two Ponds, large bath & other Birdbath & drinkers and McDuck uses the Tame Sheeps water bucket. I despair!

Over Two Weeks …

It has been blowing a hooly these last 24hrs.

So now over two weeks have passed since Father’s Funeral.
I thought the hardest part was now behind.
I had thought wrong, so wrong.
As someone told me a few ago, getting up and dressed and putting one foot in front of the other was a good day.
How right they were!

Sleep still evades me, I am absolutely exhausted.

I reckon as Funerals go, Father got a right good send off.
I paid my respects to him the night before, could have spent so much longer with him, just talking away.
I rode in the Hearse with the other Pall Bearers, as I was to help carry Father, after all, he has carried me all my life, as we were piped in by Alan, it literally took every ounce of strength I had for me to do so.
It was a long day, yet I did find comfort in that day.
Just so sorry I did not get to chat to everyone.
And so sad, that I doubt very much that I will see some of these folk again.
Such is life I suppose.

Snowmageddon, stuck in Yorkshire, there would be no travelling back top narth.
But, a positive was getting to watch the Fieldfares.

Thursday 1st March went into dads den with his whippet, closed the door to the world, reclined his chair and wept.
Still snowbound.

Finally made it back to Scotland.
Saw Curlews on the way up ear the borders, but they’ve yet to arrive here at Tulloch.
7th March, about 30 Starlings in the garden

The Tulloch animals were been real delinquents today, mid afternoon you’d have seen me stood in yard giving them a right dressing down!

Making a sandwich, the Poodle has his nose as close as he could get, told him to ‘b****r off’, Alexa suddenly bursts into life and says “I’m sorry I’m not sure I can help you with that”

Monday 12th March, 4am and am wondering if I will ever get a proper nights sleep again.

Wee herd of Fallow appear round the garden late afternoons now.
Amazingly, Barclay has yet to see them!

Have had some wonderful guests staying, am blessed for them.

Also, (This is such a long shot here), but to the family from Zambia who called in The Wee Scottish Gallery yesterday, how wonderful to meet you, thank you for calling, your visit will stay with me.

(Click to play) My Anthem for life at present is … A 1000 Times
“If I had your number, I’d call you tomorrow”

SO MUCH MORE I could/should write.

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